Funny how the pain never goes away. At least not yet....for me. I thought I had moved on. I thought I was fine. Nothing was bothering me anymore. But then I find out about a pregnancy that sends me back into the emotional rut. Suddenly that heavy feeling in my chest is back and I find myself fighting back tears. I don't want to feel this way. It isn't by choice. It just still hurts.....more than I could ever have imagined. Miscarriages suck - don't they.
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My mom and I were talking about books and authors the other day. Isabel Allende came up. She told me about an interview Allende had with Christina. Yes that Christina. Anyway, she was describing how she was able to overcome the loss of her daughter. She said she really didn’t. Her mother told her that you have to let the grief fill you up. Don’t fight it. Let it take over you, because once you do this the sadness will eventually fall out of you. This may take years, months, weeks. Just know there is no timeframe on pain. Its horrible and we all wish we didn’t have to endure it.
Fuck pain, fuck loss, fuck it all.
[hmmm] - so true.....so true. One of my favorite authors. This comment really hit home. I'll remember it always.
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