Happy 1 Month Birthday!

Today, Andres turns 1 month. We'll have to settle for this crappy cell phone picture. I'm a bad mother and still can't find my camera charger cables and have not bought a new camera or borrowed someone else. Tomorrow I'm stopping by my parent's house to use their camera. But of course tomorrow he'll be 1 month and 1 day. Unless...I take the picture before 6:07pm...when he was born...then he'll still be 1 month! Ha!

Anyway...

Happy birthday Andres. This morning you goo'd for the first time. I was very excited. It happened while I was changing your diaper. You also smiled at me for the first time. It wasn't your usual drowsy half asleep smile. You actually looked at me and then smiled. I almost cried. You did it twice. :-) And then I did cry when I was cutting your thumb nail and pinched your skin accidentally. I felt SO bad!! You got all sad and were about to cry, but I held you tight and appologized [and cried] and you were fine. I just felt terrible. Sorry...again. Today you also decided you weren't going to nap and eat on your normal schedule. As a result you have been a very fussy boy today. But of course, it's your day and you need as much attention as possible. I see where this is headed.

Next Tuesday we find out how much you have grown in a month...well...more like in 5 weeks. I'm sure you'll be past the 8lbs mark. Your clothes fit you so good now. I really can't see how the 0-3 month clothes is gonna make it to 3 months at the rate you're growing. Hopefully you slow down because you still have a lot of cute clothes to wear! I think you might be going thru another growth spurt. For the last 2 days you have been gobbling down 4 oz of formula and not your usual 2.5 - 3 oz. Crazy guy.

Your receding hairline is also getting worse....as seen in the picture above. You look like a little man with that hair do! And your double chin is only getting worse as you fatten up. But I love all your new little rolls...on your arms and legs. So cute! I wanna eat you up!

You are now reacting to the sound of our voices. You try to turn to where the sound is coming from....you look for dad and I. It's awesome. We get so excited. Especially when you are looking at one of us and the other comes in the room and starts talking and you turn to look. You're totally not a newborn anymore! Amazing how fast you grow. Abuelita also gets super excited when she talks to you and you turn to look at her. You did it for the first time during your fever hospital stay, but now you do it all the time.

Amazing is the word of the day.

I can't believe how fast a month has gone by. Seriously doesn't feel like that long. In 6 short weeks our time together at home will be over. I'll be returning to work then, but we don't have to think about that now. Your dad and I truely cherish every second with you. Everyday you suprise us with something new, and everyday you grow and change so much. Your dad and I have to learn to put you down and let you be on your own. It's hard, but you need to hang out on your own too. But I never stop talking you. I make sure you don't get bored.

So here's to many many more months to come. I just ask one favor of you, Andres - don't grow up too fast...please. :-x


1 month
[4 weeks 3 days]

Postpartum Pains

In Mexico, when women give birth they are to stay indoors for 40 days and 40 nights. If you think about it, it's the 6 week recovery period given in the states. But it is much more strict in Mexico. You cannot do anything! You are practically bed ridden. As hirrible as this sounded to me in the early days postpartum, it now sounds like heaven.

I have been plagued with many random pains since giving birth. The first of my aches were joint pain. Very painful joint pain that I had attributed to the cold A/C indoors and the hot weather outdoors. But ALL my joints hurt. So bad that I was beginning to think I had developed arthritis. I was to learn later this was part of this postpartum recovery period. Rare, but it happens to a few women. Of course, my mother, blamed the fact that I was not taking care of myself. Whatever that meant. Leaving the house too soon? Being up and about as soon as I got home? Sleeping with fans when the A/C wasn't on? This fan one was to come and bite me in the ass.

My worst ache came in the form of trapped air in my upper back. The first time I felt this I blogged about it. It happened after my first trip to L&D pre-baby. It was HORRIBLE. During my hospital stay postpartum I learned that this pain was related to trapped air in the body. When the nurse advised me not to hold in my farts she mentioned this back pain. It hits you between the shoulder blades and hurts like a mofo! The second time this hit I also blogged about it. It was about 2 weeks ago. That was the day I wanted to die. And then I remembered my beautiful baby and decided passing out and having G call an abulance would be enough. That's how much it hurt. G said I was speaking in tongues. I was in that much pain. I vocalized thru the pain and felt no relief.

That day I blamed the window fan. It was set up in the baby room to bring in air to the apartment. During the first night feeding I went in and adjusted the fan because it was blowing air toward the mobile. Of course, the air hit my straight on. Felt great! It was hot and I thought nothing of it. Until about 45 min later when I was crying in pain in my living room. A pain that even vicodin couldn't numb.

So this weekend it happened again. And for no damn good reason! We were waiting for Andres to wake up for his late feeding before heading to bed. I passed out on the couch. I woke up and realized Andres was still out, so I headed to bed. As soon as I hit the pillow I felt that familiar stab in my back. I immediately teared up at the thought of what was to come. Sure enough, within minutes I was in crying from the actual pain. Although it didn't hit as bad this time. Maybe because I didn't get out of bed. I don't know.

Instead of not getting super painful, it just didn't go away. It hit at 2am [always hits at 2am...weird...] and at 9am I called my mom in tears. She immediately called my godmother who knows all kinds of remedies. She like the curandera of the family....the medicine woman. she knows all about the herbs. So my mom convinces me to head to her house. By the time I arrive the special tea will be ready. It was chocolate [cocoa] and an herb mixture. Instresting but I'll tell you, that thing worked miracles!!! With 20 minutes I was no longer rocking myself in the fetal position. My mom also massaged my back with pure olive oil and eucalyptus oil. That also felt great. But it was that tea...miracle worker.

So what caused it this time? My mom says that the air is already there now. Trapped. And it'll flare up. Great....now I live in fear. I will be bringing this up to my doctor at my 6 week check-up, but really....what can she do? I don't want to live on pain killers that don't work. I know if I head to the hospital all they'll do is dope me up. No thanks.

So every night when I go to bed I pray to my lucky stars that I don't wake up at 2 am in pain.

As soon as my cousin posts the tea recipe I'll post it here. It works wonders!

So aside from this how am I feeling? Well my incision hurts more than it did the first few weeks. Its like a pinching stabbing pain. Not bad...not all the time...but it's there...and it bugs. I think the incision is healing good. I can't really see it since I still have the surgical strips on. We'll have to wait till my 6 week check up on the 9th.

Also, in the last few days I've been getting the epidural pains I've heard so much about. I've been feeling a pinching pain in my back where the epi was administered. It hurts. My back has also been very sore since the back pain on Saturday. One of my cousin was saying that she gets bad back pain when ever she does something that would make her back sore. ever since the epi. So I guess the soreness is setting off the epi pain.

Good times! But I still love being a mommy.

And because I know you are all picture whores...here's Andy getting some tummy time in this morning. He so didn't like it. But we'll work on it everyday until he does. Although he does like laying on his tummy in bed. For a little while. He really gets a good break from his back.




4w1d

4 weeks

Happy 4 weeks Andres. I'll take your "official" monthly photo on the 27th which is this Wednesday.

I love this picture because this is pretty much the only time we see him smile...when he's falling asleep. My brother got home from work and found Andres had set up camp in his room. Andres was half asleep and my brother started taking pictures of him. I uploaded the rest to flickr.

You'll also find pics like this one that were taken a week ago Sunday. He was wearing his cute little wayabera (sp?) and white linen pants outfit my sister gave him. My Cuban step-mother-in-law loved his outfit!

On to an update on Andres. He is growing big and strong. He is still eating every 2.5-4 hours [mostly every 3 hours]. He eats between 2.5 - 3.5 oz of formula. I'm thinking of switching his formula again because this Similac Isomil Advance Soy is giving him really bad gas, something he didn't have. Last night he had it bad and he fell asleep with me rubbing his belly. When it's this bad even those gas drops don't work. Earlier in the day my mom had rubbed his belly and back with pure olive oil which helped a little. I need to make a trip to whole foods to buy some. I guess I'll see how this week goes and maybe wait to till his 1 month check up next week to ask about switching formula.

Speaking of...the little guy is awake. Time to feed him and then we can all go to bed. I'll post tomorrow about my recovery. I had an awful weekend, but I am doing much better.


4 weeks

Balding Baby and Firsts

I know babies must loose their baby hair, but why must Andy's hair fall from the front first? Poor A and his giant forehead.

I took this picture this morning after he ate. We were watching the Woman's Olympic Volleyball Team beat Italy. He likes starring at the TV. Don't think that's a good thing.

I was just looking at him sleeping in his crib, and it amazes me to think that in a short time he will be up and about talking and walking...becoming his own person. To think that G and I will be shaping this little person to become a contributing member of society. Amazing this whole parenting thing is. I love it more than I would have ever imagined.

Falling in love with this little person has definitely been a process. It isn't love at first sight. I mean it is because this person came from you....was made by you...but it takes time. I feel that Andres and I both had to get to know each other. The moment I was in love happened on our 2nd day in the hospital [Monday after A was born]. I had been a little upset all day because visitors were beginning to come and everyone was holding and feeding and changing him. I still hadn't done much since I was bound to my bed for the first 24 hours, and I had been letting G feed him so he could bond. By the end of the day I felt as if everyone knew my baby better than me.

So that night after everyone left I asked G if I could feed him. I was sitting there, holding him in my arms and Andres was sucking away at his bottle when he suddenly stopped sucking and looked straight into my eyes. We starred at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It was at that moment that it instantly clicked - he was mine and I was his. He looked at me like he had known me forever, given he was only a day old. But he looked straight into me like no one else ever had, and I lost it. I started bawling at that moment. Tears of joy, love, excitement, fear of what lay ahead. It was the single greatest moment of my life. And it didn't happen the minute he came out of me.

That is what I want to make clear. It doesn't need to happen at that time....you don't have to feel those intense feelings right away. It can take time. You have both just been thru a lot! You have to have that moment with your baby, and this was our moment. I sat there thru his feeding with tears running down my face and so much love running thru me. I looked up and saw G looking at us with tears in his eyes. He witnessed history...he witnessed our moment....and he was beyond moved.

I sit here typing this with tears, once again, running down my face. Could be the hormones, but this motherhood thing...is pretty damn awesome. Just sayin'.

Happy 3 weeks Andres.

You would fall in love if you saw this face everyday. <3

3w 2d

Update

I'm way too sleep deprived to do a full update so here's the short version.



After 2 failed attempts at the spinal tap by the ER doctor last night, Andy was admitted to pediatrics. He has had no fever and the preliminary blood work looks normal, but since he is so young he is being kept for observation. Assuming he does not get a fever by tomorrow morning we will be going home. Some time at the crack of dawn we will be getting the blood and urine cultures (takes 24hrs).



Worst case scenario - his temp spikes and he will immediately get the spinal tap, and IV and antibiotics. A whole lot more tests will be done to figure out what's causing the fever. And at minimum he will stay here for 48 hrs more. But that's worst case.



Right now he is perfect except for the congestion in his chest. But he is eating like a champ, peeing, pooping, sleeping. He's alert. Pedi was amazed at what a calm baby he was. Even with a poopie diaper he didn't cry or fuss. And he is growing like a weed!! It's awesome.

1 week ago: 7lbs 19.5in

Today: 7lbs 15oz 22in



The pediatrician came in not too long ago and he thinks it might be a virus, nothing bacterial. It sounds like an upper respiratory infection because of all the chest congestion. Good thing is it hasn't traveled south to his lungs. So nothing bad. And we have no idea how he could have caught this. No one sick has been around. We mention the contact with BIL with the staph infection and he said that wouldn't cause a fever and he would have needed to be directly touched.



So my short update is pretty complete. Sparing all mundane details. We've slept about 2hrs in the last 24hrs so you can imagine how we feel. But we're just hanging out. Not worried as much.



Thank you all who have texted, called, sent twitter messages, posted good vibes over on the SAL board. It's amazing how much love and support you can feel from not just family and friends, but from total strangers or "internet friends. " :-p We greatly appreciate it.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

2w 2d

Sad Picture

This how we spent our night/morning. A full recap to come once I've gotten some sleep. We're still at the hospital. Waiting...and waiting. Check the side of the blog on my twitter to read what's been going on.



Long story short Andy had a 100.5 fever at 830pm. We got here at 930pm and at 415am we r still waiting on test results. The good news is he hasn't had a fever since we've been here and he's been completely normal. But since he did have a fever they went ahead and ordered blood and urine tests and a chest xray. Since he hadn't had the fever here he (thankfully) didn't get a spinal tap done.



So we wait. Hopefully soon. Docs keep getting code blues and trauma patients that come first. Sucks. I'm just praying to be in my bed by 5am. Its looking slim though. I got my second wind around 330am but my eyes are starting to burn again.



We were also gonna take...fuck! Nurse just brought in the spinal tap kit. Looks like I'm gonna cry again. Wtf. Ok doc is coming. :-(

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Picture taken @ 2w 1d

Hello. My name is Mr. Irresistible

Taken @ 6 days old

Sleepy Time

I think Andres is the cutest sleeper ever! He loves to sleep with his hands up by his face. But every now and then he'll throw them up over his head like this. It wasn't till I took this pic that I notice his legs were also crossed. He's sleeping in the bassinet in our room here.

Last night Andres decided he was gonna try a new more annoying sleeping schedule. Wake up every 1.5 - 2 hours. Horrible. After being awake for almost 5 hours (he usually eats and passes out) just before bedtime, he decided he wanted 2 oz of milk every 1.5 - 2 hours. Suffice to say we slept like shit. I seriously think he must be going thru a growth spurt. That is a lot of milk! And he is hungry and awake! But it's tapered off thru the day and he is back to 3 hours or sleep. Hopefully it continues thru the night and maybe even gives us a good 4 hour stretch. First day I was exhausted and actually took a good nap.

I'm gonna have to write tomorrow about how I'm feeling. My insides are so effed up. If you've had a c-section please tell me this is normal. My sister can't seem to remember but she had a harder recovery than I did.

It's past midnight and Andres will be up in less than 2 hours. I better squeeze in some sleep!

1w 4d

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

1 week appt update

First off, I think La Leche League did find me. But they're trying to be slick by posting on my regular blog. I can feel the pin stab from the scarlet letter "F." I'm alright with this though. I will embrace it just as Demi Moore did. I am/was fully educated and aware of the benefits of breastfeeding. I read all the books. So please know I am making an educated decision. For the record - I will NOT be breastfeeding. This is my choice and I am happy with it. Our pediatrician is happy with it. She says his formula [Similac Advance] is the best he can get right now so he'll be fine. After many days of going back and forth and trying to get Andres to latch on unsuccessfully, I have made my decision.

Thank You

On to better news.

Andres is growing strong!! He is now 7lbs even and has grown a half inch. Doc says he is gaining about 2oz per day. They like to see a 1/2 - 1 oz per day so he is way past that. He is in the 25th percentile for all 3 measurements - head, weight, and length. He was so good at the appointment. Only cried at the end because he was really hungry and we didn't have his bottle. But he quieted down and patiently waited for me to finish his paperwork. I love this kid. <3

We also made our visit to my parent's house. It was soooooo nice to get out! I was totally getting cabin fever. Although G is pretty damn paranoid about everything. About me being out, about Andres being out, about driving with Andres. I never thought he would be so paranoid and I would be soooo laid back. I can't believe how laid back i am. I'm a total control freak and now i'm just so chill about parenting. Weird. Wonder if it'll change. Actually, maybe it's just the Vicodin making me so laid back. Hmmmmm. But G just freaks out about everything. Last night he fell asleep all late because every time Andres made a sound in his bassinet G would get up to check on him. I mean it's totally cute and it makes my heart melt, but that is crazy. G has totally become "one of those" parents that checks on his kid every 5 minutes to make sure he is breathing. I just pass out when i go to bed. But for some reason I'm the only one who hears when Andres starts waking up. I have to wake G up.

One thing I am having trouble with is sleeping during the day. No matter how tired I am I cannot sleep during the day. I know what people say, but I can't rest. I can't stop finding things to do. Tomorrow I will try reading when Andres is napping in hopes that it'll make me fall asleep.

Speaking of sleep, I' effing tired! I must go to bed.

1 week 1 day

Broken Boobs

So my boobs must be broken because my milk NEVER came in. So formula it is. I got the colostrum, which I was able to give to Andres a few times. Even leaked that a tiny bit once, but it was never seen again. I kept waiting for my boobs to get all huge, engorged, hard, painful, etc. and nothing. Nada. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I mean I would get Andres to latch on. There was just nothing for him. Oh well. I wanted to breastfeed so bad I'm surprised I wasn't more upset about this. I think it's because we have really fallen into a schedule with feedings. And I love that G can feed Andres anytime. Andres seems perfectly happy with formula. We've had no issues. I hope the Leche League doesn't read this and come pin me with a scarlet 'F' for formula...or failure...either way.

In other news, Andres has his first pediatric visit today. It'll also be mine and Andres' first time out since coming home! I am SO getting cabin fever! I am ready to be out and about and enjoying my maternity leave with Andres. I know it has only been a week and a had a c-section. But my recovery has been awesome. I'm sore and have some pain and discomfort, but nothing outta control. I don't even take my vicodin. Just ibuprofen every now and then. OMG we should totally go have sushi for lunch tomorrow! GAWD I MISS SUSHI!!! RAW SUSHI!!! SASHIMI!!! And we can introduce Andres to Jimmy our sushi chef! Maybe we'll just get it to go as Andres may be too young to go out. Hmmm...better ask his pedi tomorrow.

Last night I also had my 1st postpartum beer! It was soooo good. I missed alcohol. Especially toward the end of pregnancy. The summer heat just makes a cold one look so much more appealing. I celebrated the end of trying to breastfeed with no milk and the end to pain meds. Also to the beginning of parenthood.

Alright it's almost 1am and Andres will be up in 2 hours. I was so tired earlier...I don't know what happened. Damn internet. I hadn't been on in forever and now I can't get off. It's an illness.


1 week old

1 Week

Happy 1 weeks birthday Andres!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Birth Pictures

Here is a slide show of the pictures my brother took. He also made an awesome video that makes me tear up every time I watch it. Complete with editing, captions, and a soundtrack. He's the best that brother of mine. But watching the video and seeing the pictures makes me realize how shitty I looked! LOL Seriously, I looked like crap during my 14 hours of labor and after. My friend A commented how "different" I looked. I know what you really meant A. I looked like crap! Hahaha. It's cool.

Enjoy!