Night night

G sent me this audio file earlier today, and it is THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST and FUNNIEST thing ever! At least to us. :)

It took me forever to figure out how to get it from my phone to here... 3 hours later here were are. Enjoy!

And remember...Andy is just 9 weeks! He amazes us so much everyday.

Still have a heartbeat!

What a month we have had. I have now been on bed rest for 1 month and 4 days!!! And it sucks!! But anything to keep this baby's heart beating...right?

I started bleeding the day after our first doctors appointment. SO i was immediately put on bed rest. The bleeding would happen once and then go away, but it would happen at least once every week. So the bed rest continued straight thru the holidays. After New Years I bled again for no good reason and was put back on my strict bed rest [only get up to pee and shower]. I then bled again the following week. At our 2nd doctors appt we found out everything was still progressing perfectly. We saw a bigger baby in the ultrasound and everything looked great.

I spent a good month being scared shitless for what could've been. It's so scary to go thru this. I try not to stress because I know it's no good for the baby, but still....you can't help but be scared. I mean why so much blood? And where is it coming from?! I am now a week out since I last bled, and assuming I don't anymore I'll be able to go back to work. I pray that's the case. I'm so tired of beds.

On top of all of this my morning/all day sickness has not subsided yet. I am extremely nauseous 24/7. And the worst part is I don't throw up. Sometimes I wish I did so I could have those 30 min. of relief. But don't get me wrong, I have thrown up. Mostly in the mornings when I first wake up or late at night. But not everyday.

I'm also extremely allergic to my apartment. Sad part is I'm not kidding. I soon as I get near the front door or smell the inside, I start gagging uncontrollably until I finally throw up. It's bad. It started just being ........ ok........ I just gagged typing this out. SERIOUSLY! That's how bad it is!! It's driving me insane!! But I was saying - It started as an aversion to my kitchen and the sight of food. Any food. And now it is my entire apartment that makes me sick. Poor G tries to clean and clean and nothing works. Well it's gotten so bad that I have been spending a good 4 days out of the week at my parents house. It's nice because nothing makes me sick here and my mom is around all day to get me food and what not. But poor G. He didn't get it at first, but now he knows I'm not nuts. Everyone tells me all women get a serious aversion to something, mine is my apartment. :(

So I sit here and pray that my morning sickness does not last past the first trimester. And then I pray for a healthy and happy 200 more days. I'll be honest - the miracle of life is fascinating, but this part sure hasn't been fun.

Hopefully now I'll also have time to blog more often. I have to steal my brother's laptop to do it, so it doesn't come easy.

Feels good to write this out. I feel like I'm gonna be a mom!! :D

O - M - G

WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT!!!!

OMG! The feeling is so amazing to see that little tiny heart blinking away on the ultrasound screen. And then our Doc blasted the volume and we could hear it!! G's eyes teared up, I stayed sorta shocked it was finally there. The doc said it sounded very strong, but in all the excitement I forgot to ask her how fast it was going. Wow. We're having a baby! We have been blessed with a heartbeat and I pray for a healthy baby.

Well I am SUPER sick with this morning [ALL DAY] sickness business, so I can't think of more to post right now. I finally threw up this morning which sucked. I hope it doesn't get worse, because man this sucks. The constant nausea and not being able to eat or drink. I'm finally stomaching some fruit and ginger ale. I feel ok right now so hopefully i can have a good dinner.

We have a heartbeat!!! I'll scan in the ultrasound picture later. So excited!

Oh yeah! And I measured 6 weeks 5 days, so I was right on target! YAY! EDD is August 2, 2008.

Pregnant Face

Yesterday I was at my mom's house, and her distant cousin was there too. My mom tells me today that this lady asked her if I was pregnant! She said she could see it in my face, and that she's never been wrong. She has told women [in the past] that they are pregnant before the women even know it. Crazy right? So my mom told her I was, but that we weren't telling anyone yet. The lady wanted to say something to me, but didn't think it was her place. I can't believe it. I mean I have heard of women who can see it, but the fact that someone saw it in me? It's just short of awesome! :D Little things like this [and the extreme nausea as of late] can be really comforting. 2 more days for our appointment! I can barely sleep just thinking about it.

Gag me with a spoon...or toothbrush...

You know what sucks? Trying to think of what to make for dinner when you're nauseous. I do not want anything right now. I've noticed that I start to feel sick when I start to get hungry. Or just before. I need to start bringing healthy snacks to work. I think I might have to start cooking lots of food on the weekends and freezing it. Although I've never been one to freeze food. Not sure how to go about it either. Well that was a short-lived idea. Ugh. I don't know what we're having for dinner tonight, but I'm already hungry [but feel like nothing]. Wish G would just cook...anything...anything at all.

On the bright side - 1 more week till our 1st appointment! Man I can't wait. This last week better not drag on.

Strength in small numbers

It's hard being so strong all the time. No matter what happens in life, I try to be strong and have a positive attitude to be able to move on. But sometimes....human nature takes over and the weakness sets in. Sometimes only occupying space for a moment....other times for much more than that. Thankfully I only have "moments." And when those moments hit I allow myself to sulk in the moment. Just for a second...as if to remember how terrible it feels...and how much I don't want to feel that way.

Last night I had one of those moments. Let me first say that I had been feeling great lately [aside from the constant nausea]. I had not worried or over analyzed. I think I owe a lot to that nausea. It is somewhat comforting to have it so bad this time around. I didn't feel sick at all last time. It's like a confirmation that this is and will be a viable pregnancy. Anyway....back to my moment. I notice yesterday that I was going to start spotting. Now, I'm telling myself it's old blood and not to worry. It happens and means nothing most of the time. I know. BUT considering how that didn't turn out so well last time...well...it just sorta got me. I literally got scared at the thought of what could be, once again. So I sulked for a minute and let G hold me and make me feel safe. There's just something about being in the arms of the man you love that comforts you like nothing else. Everything starts to feel ok.

The great thing is that we don't have to wait as long for our first ultrasound. 1 week and 2 days till we see a tiny beating heart. I know we'll see it. I know I'll be nervous wreck that day, but I can't wait.

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Now playing: Norah Jones - The Nearness of You
via FoxyTunes

Proud Mama

I just realized I'm gonna be one of those - I'm totally making photo Christmas cards with our baby's face on it next year! Proud mama....to the extreme? I hope not. Who am I kidding...of course it'll be to the extreme! Can't wait.

I can't believe how ridiculously excited I am this time. Like seriously. I think last time it was more scary because I wasn't sure I was ready. This time I just wanted to be pregnant again so bad! I'm not even that worried anymore. Just happy. Feels good. 2 weeks till our first appointment and ultrasound. Can't wait!

Gender Predictions

Ok, I know. You cannot really predict the gender of your baby [maybe after a few]. But for some reason, this time around I really feel we could be having a boy. Last time I was convinced it was a girl. I was having baby girl dreams. But this time it's different. I know I'm just crazy, but we'll see.

And then there were three...AGAIN!

And man it feels fanfuckentastic! I'm pregnant! And I could not be anymore happy.

I had been feeling really tired and nauseous all last week, but I didn't think much of it. G and I had decided that we would stop preventing this month since I had already had 2 regular cycles. But we totally thought we missed out chance! Well by the grace of God I ovulated late and coincidently did the deed on that very day. It was so mean to be because we thought our chance had come and gone.

I immediately become consumed with the idea that I may be pregnant after all. I decided I would wait until Sunday to test. AF was due on Saturday. As always, that didn't work out. I ended up taking a test Friday morning. I couldn't sleep! Sure enough it came up positive right away. I was in such shock I didn't even react to it all until later that night when I told G.But I decided I'd tell my sister right then because I had to tell some one. G worked all morning and then I left to visit my friend A before he got home. I didn't want to tell him over the phone either. Since I wanted him to know first I didn't even tell A. Boy was that hard! I was bursting with exciting on the inside, but had to keep my cool.

On my way home that night I stopped at CVS by our home and bought G a card. I went home and wrote a long ass note about how our time had finally came again. I put the note on his pillow and waited for him to get home. It was great once he finally read it. He was floored.

On Sunday I took another test. G wanted to see one and it was our anniversary, so it was cool to do. Like our gift to ourselves! ;) I started getting really scared after that and had been holding off on calling my doctor. I was so paranoid. But I finally went in for a urine test to get the referral to go back to my lady doctor. The positive came right up at the doctor's office and felt really good.

I made my first prenatal appointment right away. They told me they were booked until after Christmas, but I decided to play th e"miscarriage card" to get an earlier appt. The girl on the phone totally sympathized and was able to squeeze me in in 2 weeks. Assome! Should be enough time to see a heartbeat as I'll almost be 7 weeks.

So this time around we are going to make sure to keep this our secret until we at least see a heartbeat. If all goes well at my first ultrasound on Dec. 13th then we may make an announcement at Christmas. I haven't decided yet though, since I would only be 8 weeks. With everything that has happened we are definitely taking this one day at a time. Living in the moment and trying to not to worry about the future. Filling our heads with positive thoughts. This is why I have made this blog completely private....for now. I want to write everything here, but I'm not ready for the world to know. Soon enough.

As for the stats -

I'm 4 weeks 4 days
EDD: August 2, 2008

Symptoms so far:
- Lots of nausea [almost got sick at a party Saturday]
- Sore Nipples [started yesterday]
- Mild cramps all last week but have tapered off.
- Emotional wreck
- Mood swings
- and fatigue....I am SO tired. Usually hits after lunch and gets really bad around 4pm.