In 5 days we will finally get to see ET [maybe just hear the little rapid heart beat] and it feels more like 5 months. This waiting period is seriously beginning to take a toll on both G and I. It gets harder and harder to believe a little pee test that this is for real. Having to wait till the 8th week is some of the hardest waiting time ever. For me it's a bit easier than G. I can feel all the changes going on in my body and I know something is going on and is different. But for G, he only goes by what I say and how I act. Men really do need that visual confirmation more than a women. He needs to hear a medical professional say that we are having a baby.
This time, however, is also filled with much fear and an uneasy anxiety. I am at the point where I am constantly fearing our appointment. What if there is no heart beat? What if ET stopped growing? Will I be able to handle that sort of news? There are days when I don't feel anything and don't feel pregnant. Those are the scary days. In 7 weeks I have become so attached to my little one that I can't imagine having to go back "to normal." I keep hearing that the loss of a fetus at any age is as hard as the loss of a child at any age. Especially when it's your first child. Of course I stop myself from thinking such horrible thoughts. ET needs my happy vibes. I do tell ET every night that I can't wait to hear it's little heart fluttering away. That I hope he/she is growing strong. But truth be told, I'm scared shit less and so is G.
In happier news, I hadn't posted in over a week because work had been busy in preparation for our vacay and we have lost our free wireless internet signal at home. But we are now back from a great relaxing vacation in Seattle [see picture]. I felt great. I was worried about flying and having the gods curse me with morning sickness at the start of our vacation, but THANK GOD I am still ok [knocking on wood]. My mom is constantly asking if I'm sick yet. No mom....be happy instead of shocked.
My hormones are also in full swing right now. I am crying at every opportunity. For example, I hate Barry Bonds. But when he gave that thank you speech and cried thinking about his dad...well best believe I was right there crying too. And I couldn't even hold back! it was terrible. I am also getting angry and annoyed for the dumbest things. But whatcha gonna do. G has been very good about keeping calm when I'm not. He's really learning to "go with the flow." LOL It's a learning process for us all.
This time, however, is also filled with much fear and an uneasy anxiety. I am at the point where I am constantly fearing our appointment. What if there is no heart beat? What if ET stopped growing? Will I be able to handle that sort of news? There are days when I don't feel anything and don't feel pregnant. Those are the scary days. In 7 weeks I have become so attached to my little one that I can't imagine having to go back "to normal." I keep hearing that the loss of a fetus at any age is as hard as the loss of a child at any age. Especially when it's your first child. Of course I stop myself from thinking such horrible thoughts. ET needs my happy vibes. I do tell ET every night that I can't wait to hear it's little heart fluttering away. That I hope he/she is growing strong. But truth be told, I'm scared shit less and so is G.
In happier news, I hadn't posted in over a week because work had been busy in preparation for our vacay and we have lost our free wireless internet signal at home. But we are now back from a great relaxing vacation in Seattle [see picture]. I felt great. I was worried about flying and having the gods curse me with morning sickness at the start of our vacation, but THANK GOD I am still ok [knocking on wood]. My mom is constantly asking if I'm sick yet. No mom....be happy instead of shocked.
My hormones are also in full swing right now. I am crying at every opportunity. For example, I hate Barry Bonds. But when he gave that thank you speech and cried thinking about his dad...well best believe I was right there crying too. And I couldn't even hold back! it was terrible. I am also getting angry and annoyed for the dumbest things. But whatcha gonna do. G has been very good about keeping calm when I'm not. He's really learning to "go with the flow." LOL It's a learning process for us all.
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