I get news today that my hCG levels went up, but only a tiny bit. Not near enough as they should. Or as the nurse put it, "my numbers are floundering." So now I have an ultrasound appt. for Thursday afternoon so that the doc can decide if this is a "viable" pregnancy. I really don't know what to think. I know it's not over till the fat lady sings, or in this case the skinny lady.
I don't even know what I feel anymore. Sometimes I think I still feel pregnant and other times I just feel like shit. On top of that I've been so incredibly bloated that none of my jeans or pants fit. Serio. I can't leave them buttoned. It makes me even more depressed.
Here are my sorry rising numbers (numbers are rounded):
8/14 - 2900+
8/17 - 3200+
8/20 - 3400+
That is a really weak rise considering they're suppose to be doubling. What gets to me is why is it that my numbers continue to rise [even if its very slow] when I supposedly could've miscarried over 3 weeks ago [ maybe even 4]. Why has my body not caught on. Or am I really some medical mystery and come Thursday we might see that an embryo has actually developed. I mean I've read these sort of miracle stories from other women, but I don't buy it.
Guess I'm just afraid of the ultimate let down on Thursday.
Keep lighting those candles, I think they're working.
Btw - today should've been week 9 for us. :(
1 comment:
Oh Gabs I've been thinking about you and your G so much. I really can't begin to imagine what you both must be feeling and going through. Please keep us updated.
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